I made a patient cry today and I didn't like it!

Has this ever happened to anyone on the group before...patient is in the chair for some simple restorations and before the procedure we let her know that if anything at all is uncomfortable all she needs to do is raise her hand and we'll stop whatever we're doing and figure out someway around it...Well, all goes well with anesthesia, placement of rubber dam, removal and replacement of old filling with shiny new tooth colored restoration, and preliminary bite adjustment with rubber dam on. When rubber dam is removed and we were doing the final bite adjustment, we had to wrestle the tongue to keep it from getting injured by the handpiece. All of a sudden the patient starts crying. I immediately stop and ask what's wrong and she says that she felt like she was gagging and couldn't breathe. I asked her why she didn't raise her hand and she started sobbing even more! Holy crap...what do I do now?

So...I stop and sit her up and try to be as kind as a 300lb insensitive male dentist can be to a sobbing woman and decide that it's best for me to leave the room for awhile and let my team handle the situation. Naturally, they do...(did you really expect anything different?)...and get her calmed down. So, I politely ask her to please raise her hand when she needs a break or if anything at all troubles her and she says, "Just get it over with!"

I don't think she'll be bringing me any flowers or chocolates anytime soon. :(

What did I do wrong...besides being a man?